lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
