She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
