Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
