Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
