turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
