Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
