Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
