a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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