does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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