it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
