I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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