I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
