i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
