Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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