I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
