"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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