just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
