And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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