we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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