If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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