Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
