I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
