Buhtt sex?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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