I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
