Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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