At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
