My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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