Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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