New low: just hacked my moms facebook
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I am naked and annoyed.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
