i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I need to stop coming to work sober
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
