He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
