okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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