Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
