He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
