it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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