I love black thongs
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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