Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
