I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
