I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
