I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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