he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
