Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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