i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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