sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
