I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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