i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
