he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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