I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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