Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
