shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
