It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
