please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Then you guys just all showered together...?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
