dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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